well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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