Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
pop tarts are not kleenex
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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