She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
