I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
