my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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