Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
