At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
