dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
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I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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