Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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