I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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