When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
