you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
