I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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