Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize