Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
