Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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