yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
