you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize