She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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