p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
