Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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