Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
