yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
