dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
