well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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