Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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