I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize