The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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