Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize