im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
