does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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