Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
