before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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