Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
