Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
