break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
