I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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