I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
