Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
