'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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