There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
