My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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