Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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