Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
