I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
