You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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