Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
