Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
