And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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