Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
