just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
