I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
