your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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