Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We left an ass print on the piano.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
