I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
