I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
