How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
