Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize