I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Damn victory sex feels great
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
