you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Success! We fucked roommates!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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