did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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