Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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