:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
