Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
