rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My ass is underappreciated
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
