How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
