Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
