and you said cock pushups were impossible
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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