i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
